I Knew It and I Believed It Will Be True, FOREVER.<3

Monday, August 31, 2009
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oh !!
finally ...
with my perseverance, courage and unaided efforts ...
i finally found my Korean Name !!

"annyong haseyo !
Choneun LeeGaHye imnida !"

my korean name is ... ... 이가혜 (Lee Ga Hye) .
i know it does not sound very nice ...
but it doesn't matter .
i cant possibly change my name because of that ba ??
but i'm happy to have a Korean Name .
FINALLY !!

Labels: Choneun LeeGaHye imnida .

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
6:12 PM

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today is my last Teachers' Day in CCHMS .
feeling kind of melancholy .
especially when i'm surrounded by doleful songs .
feeling dejected .
i dont understand why so many sec4s pon school today .
its our last Teachers' Day with the whole of Chung Cheng .
though next year we can still come back ...
it just feels different .
in many ways ...
haix !
we just live this life for once .
why not grasp all opportunities we can to prevent us from suffering from the tortures of regret in future ??
i'm trying to do so now ...
if not i dont think i'm even turning up for Teachers' Day celebration today .
the performances are fun ...
sec 3IT/3JT (if i'm not wrong) sang and danced SuperJunior's "Sorry Sorry" .
quite nice ...
but loads of improvement are still needed to make it a perfect one .
another girl group sang and danced Girls Generation's some song...
is it spelled as "Gee" ??
no idea ...
i'm only clear about the song when its from DBSK .
laugh out loud !!
but they danced more perfectly as compared to the "Sorry Sorry" .
thats for sure ...
wahaha !!

left school with rachel, lynette, shuhadah and roy .
laugh out loud !!
my eyes almost closed while waiting for them to collect their History papers .
ARGH !
my hair was like becoming "siao zha bo" while waiting ...!
realised that roy and lynette are crazy with Korean stuffs too !!
had loads of fun on our way back yeah .

went back to Eunos Primary just now .
realised that not many people from our batch went back.
Angus. Sufian. Faris. SiYing. Eddie. Diyana. Nashitah. Benjamin. HanSoon. Rachel and ME !
ONLY~
mdm haslindah took some photos of us which i'm kind of reluctant to do so .
haha !!
mr lai cheated our feelings !!
said he already retired but he was like still as his usual self, crazily taking photos of the performances when we reach there .
after that only left Ben, HanSoon, SiYing, Rachel and me .
loitering around Eunos ...
chit-chatting .
SiYing left shortly after that .
just then did i realised i'm really tired ...
laugh out loud !!
i was staring into empty space every now and then .
they wanted to organise a study group for September one week holiday .
but speak frankly ...
i'm still in a dilemma due to some reasons .
cant make up my mind .
haix~ "chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi ..."
that stupid ben and HanSoon cheated us sia ...
said they taking bus home when in fact their house are jus the two blocks behind the bus-stop .
me and rachel all fall their tricks sia .
guo fen !!
this Teachers' Day was not as interesting ya .
perhaps bcoz most of us are rushing home to study for prelim ...
so tired with studying sia .
oh ya !!
i was surprised that the mama shop auntie recognised me !
laugh out loud !!
and i saw Kelly in that mama shop too .
does she live there ??
no idea .

phew~
there goes my last Teachers' Day in my secondary school life .
its really sad !!
so juniors !
grasp ur chance to celebrate whatever event you can in school .
and enjoy your secondary school life to the fullest while you still have the ability to do so ...
Labels: opportunities slip past like streaks of lightning ...

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
5:18 PM

Saturday, August 29, 2009
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complete disaster !!!
thats the only words i can impose on my Prelim 2 .
haix ...
now that English, Social Studies and A.math paper 1 had passed ...
i'm feeling kind of discouraged and less motivated to study after my performances for these 3 papers .
whats the point of studying into the night ??
whats the point of memorizing ??
all of these are immediately reduced to ashes the moment i place my pen on the exam paper .
yenpeng and junlin said they spotted one strand of white hair amongst my hair !!!
ARGH !!
i'm becoming old now ...
all because of the stress thats weighing my heart down ...
i guess thats the formidable power of "stress" ba .
the ability to speed up the process of ageing .
i'm afraid of being defeated by "stress" sia !!
i dont want to be old !!
thats really scary ...

had a rather bad day today .
my anger and frustration are reaching danger point !!
i'm so worried my heart cant take it .
i should be relieved that i'm still young .
if not i guess i wont live to post this entry .
really feel like giving him two tight and heavy slaps .
haix ~

i felt so maligned !!!
clarence seow really got me into real trouble this time !!
thot tat the waves had subsided ...
but its just the beginning !!
now that many people come to know about it ...
i dunno how am i going to clear up this stupid mess .
i was like ... ...
"oh boy! i knew it! ."
when aloysius come beating about bushes about clarence seow ...
tat big mouth and his big mouth gang !!
Labels: three down .

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
8:28 PM

Monday, August 24, 2009
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blogger is indeed suffering from a VERY SERIOUS illness !
irritating !!

wondering why am i blogging at this moment of time ???
well ...
its all because of SOCIAL STUDIES that deprives me of my sleep .
but i'm gonna go straight to bed after i end this post .
i'm way too tired to suffer from insomnia .
i think i can see stars when i close and open my eyes .
and there's a flaming sensation in my throat .
oh mo !
cant afford to fall sick again at this point of time ya .
i feel so relieved that school starts at a rather late time today .
i can catch some sleep before my mum come breaking into my dreams .
see what i will dream about later .
JaeJoong ?? HyunJoong ?? or the whole DongBangShinKi ??
haha, just kidding !
i'm too exhausted to dream about anything .
that sounds rather pathetic isn't it ??

haix !
i did not complete what i've set my mind to yesterday .
only completed around half of it. or slightly more than that ?
time is really running out .
its like the sand in the upper compartment of the hourglass are left with a few grains while the lower compartment is already almost fully filled .
oh gosh !
how am i gonna sit for prelim in my present state ??

am i unlucky or did i do something wrong in my previous life ??
some people whom i encounter in these 16 years are really weird and making me really uncomfortable ...
although their actions and attitudes leave a deep impression in my mind, but i guess very few are so-called "beautiful" memories .
sometimes i can only sigh at my own fate .
hope my life will turn for the better after my 16th birthday .
or perhaps ...
just grant me a few wish ??
i think i really need it ... ... ...
Labels: let sleeping dogs lie ...

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
3:40 AM

Sunday, August 23, 2009
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i had enough of you !!
everytime i tried to put everything down and not to let my frustration get the better of me .
but u !
u always make me end up in utter frustration and anguish !
don ask me why .
coz i dont know why too .
our conversation will always end up with me feeling totally lost .
lost as in i really cnnt take it .
its too *oh my goodness* for me to put up with .
i've no idea why i'm feeling exceptionally angry today .
my heart was like pounding twice per second against the other side of my chest .
argh !!
ruined my perfect day .
your tone. your attitude.
all made me feel so ... ... indescribable !
especially your sarcastic tone .
made me almost unbearable .
i think is because i'm listening to a very sad song now that made something happen to my heart .
thats why i'm feeling extremely furious at your attitude .
and the fact that you are talking about JaeJoong and me being so practical as to only look at his appearance when i told you there are in fact other factors as well !
haix !
stop it !

oh mo !
think i'm getting way too agitated .
calm down !!
Labels: i cant help it .

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
12:31 AM

Saturday, August 22, 2009
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its been quite a long time since i last blog .
been kind of lazy nowadays .
probably due to the tight schedule Chung Cheng has imposed on us Sec 4 students.
sometimes i even doubt the fact that i'm actually still breathing !
prelim 2 is just around the corner .
in fact, its just 3 days away !
tension is hanging in the atmosphere nowadays .
i can feel something gripping my heart every now and then .
i guess thats "Stress" ...
worst thing: prelim will drag past September holiday and will last for about a month !!
oh mo !
no idea how am i going to cope with that when i'm only just starting on revising for social studies .
life is sad .
life is hard .

had my O-Level Oral on Tuesday .
the topic was okay. manageable.
however, i still had some doubts about my performance before the examiners .
and for now ...
i just pray hard that i can get my distinction .
but even until now after 4 days have passed, i'm still feeling uneasy and worried .
my heart does not seem to listen to me anymore .
my mind just break free from my clutches, roaming on its own .
i cant seem to stop them from harping on my performance for oral .
now that i really hope i am given the ability to reverse time .
but thats simply out of the question .
i'll just have to face up to my destined fate .
and accept it ...
thats what i've been reminding myself over the past few days .
up to now, i still cant do it .

as what people always say ...
happy times always fly by so quickly, like a fast streak of lightning .
while ...
bad times crawl slower than a snail and seem like a never-ending journey full of anguish .
i can fully understand the meaning of these two sentences after leading these 16 years on this Earth .
i yearn so much for time that i can forsake anything in my possession .
in just a blink of eye, i've grown from a reserved and timid secondary one girl into an outgoing and more intrepid 16-year-old teenager .
but for now, i think i really need ample of sleep .
thats the only thing i truly desire for my birthday thats coming in less than 2 months' time .
all the textbooks. homework. and whatever related to school are depriving me of my sleep and freedom .
i'm like a cow working in a field ...
doing things against my wish .
continually. interminably.
unsure of whats ahead of me .
i'm sick of feeling tired .
i'm sick of forcing my eyelids open when i really wish to close them .
i'm sick of being controlled by my heart instead of me controlling it .
i'm sick of everything !!!

memorize! memorize! memorize!
everything revolve around memorization !
my hard disk is full and is not that big to contain all the stupid knowledge that i must have .
who is the one that dig out all these unnecessary information about things on Earth ??
he or she must have been really free ya .
their GREAT discoveries have proven to pose inconvenience and great hassle to all human beings that walk the Earth today .
i bet if we pile up all the textbooks one would own in his/her lifetime, it could touch the sky and even the Gods .
Life is really SAD !
life is a miserable sequence that one cannot rest for even a minute .
in your own world, you are the king and you MUST take charge of your own life .
you cant afford to make any mistake in planning .
as even a small mistake can ruin your whole life and leave regrets lingering around you .
even the smallest mistake can cause big destruction to one's life .
i am trying my very best to continue leading my life .
to continue maintaining my breathing pace .
and to control my continuous heartbeats and not letting it come to a halt .
the darkened shadows following the contours of my eyes and my tired-looking eyes that seem to be able to shut off its system any moment are evidence to prove the hardship and sadness of a secondary student's life .
hope that the efforts that i'm investing in are worth it and i can soon see the good impact it's executing .
Go For It !!
You Can Do It !!
You Can !!
Labels: Life is sad. Life is hard.

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
7:40 PM

Sunday, August 2, 2009
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hmm... this weekend passed in a blink .
done nothing much ya .
no homework is completed .
no revision for week 6's class test is completed as well .
eh?? why??
cant figure out at the moment .
but i did learned how to write "Hello" in Korean .
laugh out loud !!
i'm bent on learning korean and japanese .
i'm so gonna master korean language in the next two years .
thats wat sirui and i set for our goal for the time being, excluding the presence of O-Level .
haha !
and i seriously hate blogger now !!
one word: "lousy!"
and now my fonts simply sucks .
no choice as friends are asking me to update my blog .
and so here i am ...
updating as much as i can .

today i'm just rotting at home .
no going out .
have to force myself to start revising .
but i felt so sleepy the moment i sat down and open my textbook .
so i took one whole day to study one chapter of physics .
my hair was in a total disaster for the whole day. even now .
my face too !!
argh !
probably its because i slept at a rather late time these few days ...
my dark circles are getting more and more distinct .
oh gosh. gotta do something to them .
i'm still fretting over something which someone said to me the previous day .
thats not suppose to be something to fret about .
but i'm nonetheless, thinking about it all the time .
it just keep appearing in my mind despite me trying really hard to get over it ...
haix .
there are just too many things for one to think and fret about .
i totally agree with "Life is Hard" .
at least... it seems to be true for me .
i was planning to make a trip to Popular .
but no one at home wants to go with me .
a bunch of mean and heartless people ... heng!
today i'm gonna end my day with research on English Compo .
so reluctant to start .
prelim 2 is just around the corner .
knocking on my door every now and then to remind me that I HAVE NOT START MY REVISION !!!
things are getting really serious and i can really feel the tension .
but the tests and quizzes every week are really draining my energy and depriving me from really getting down to proper and complete revision .
i can do nothing but watch as time slip past my hand, cant help but feeling increasingly tired as day goes by .
i can feel the weights on both my eyelids .
haix !!
LIFE IS REALLY HARD !!
Labels: what can i do to get back the time i've lost ??

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
9:39 PM

Saturday, August 1, 2009
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watched "Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince" yesterday .
finally .
hmm... good movie but cant understand parts of it .
perhaps it is due to the fact tat i did not read the book .
many ppl who watched it were like saying how bad it is .
they read the book, tats why .
prof. Dumbledore died !
i was crying when he drank the potion and asked harry to force it down his throat .
it was such a heart-breaking scene .
he was saying "Please" and those words that simply aches my heart .
Dumbledore oso saved harry from those disgusting monsters despite himself feeling weak from drinking that potion .
it was so super touching .
but i really got frightened at the part when the monster suddenly grab harry's hand .
come to think of that, i feel so grateful that there's no other people sitting beside me except for amanda .
coz i think the way i respond was so damn *oh-my-god* .
i screamed and jumped when tat happened!
ah my! image all gone .
laugh out loud !!
however, when dumbledore was killed by snape, i did not feel any sadness .
weird isn't it ??
think tat part was too short for me to feel anything .
no music in the background too .
it was only until when everyone in hogwarts were grieving for him and raising their wands with a little light shining at the ends of their wands, mourning for him then my tears started dropping .
haix. i've always liked prof dumbledore .
though not as an idol, but he's really a great and wise man in the movie .
now that he's dead ...
ah! SO SAD !!

oh yea .
i was anticipating the appearance of lord voldemort .
until the movie ended and all the lights turned on, he did not even appear once .
except for his teenage self .
i think he looked so funny in his teenage years .
so unlike the one who acted as him in "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" .
his forehead is so damn high and 'shiny' .
laugh out loud !!
though he's supposed to look evil, but i was suppressing my laughter when he appear. haha !
Malfoy looked so EMO in this movie .
his lines were so damn little .
and i think he looked a bit old .
his skin looked dry and pale .
but cant deny that he's actually not tat bad afterall .
as for ginny weasley ...
i dont really fancy her .
her actions in this particular movie caught me by surprise .
she's so freakingly daring and flirtatious .
and seriously, i dont think she's pretty at all .
hermione is pretty instead .
in fact, i think tat ginny is kinda... ...disgusting .
laugh out loud !
pardon me for my straightforwardness ya .
but the fact is i really don like her !!
and thats a truth which i cant deny no matter how hard i try .
ron weasley's hair for this movie is soooo super funny !!!
bowl-like hairstyle .
he looked dumb but cute .
laugh out loud !!
humorous character too ...

we went marina square for our movie .
a lady approached us for some Kbox thingy. twice.
we were surprised .
somemore she always approach us when we are in a rush .
laugh out loud !!
and we started having some fantasy thoughts ...
i know it sounds stupid .
but thats what we call having ambitions and dreams isn't it ??
cant say it any more detailed .
lets see what will happen to us ...
hope its not anything bad .

reached home at about 11+ at night .
mum was waiting for me .
said she cant slp with me not reaching home yet .
so touched !!
laugh out loud !!
korkor brought his friend home to stay overnight .
and i fall asleep while waiting for them .
until korkor wakes me up .
another faceless time ... haix.

recently i'm soOoo into learning korean and japanese .
and of course, i also care about my Os .
there's this particular chinese singer whom i'm so envious and thinks that she's really good .
gotten signed by korean SM entertainment at the age of 13 .
started learning dance and korean language at the age of 13 .
debuted her 1st ever korean album at the age of 16-17 .
and she's from china .
yet she can speak fluent korean without any accent .
her first song was sang with DBSK's Xiah JunSu .
which further boosted her popularity .
she has a strong and powerful voice .
i love her "timeless" with Xiah JunSu .
it's a great song ...
Labels: whats life without dreams??

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
7:29 PM

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its almost 5 in the morning .
and clearly... i'm still awake .
flipping through some korean stuffs .
and something tat suddenly crossed my mind is weighing me down .
NOW .
i realised tat some people don like to face reality .
i know that sometimes reality is cruel .
but... not all realities are cruel, isn't it ??
in fact, some realities are so negligible that it does not even stand a place in your heart even if you face it bravely .
some people like comparison to show that they are better, in their own opinion .
frankly speaking. i dont really know how to convey the feeling i'm going through and the troubles i'm having now.
its just complicated .
very complex, indeed .
some people said one thing and carried out another .
i really hate this .
REALLY .
some people are just so skilful in this particular area .
sometimes i really think that humans cant be trusted .
but i really hope that i can place my trust in someone .
whom i can really trust him/her whole-heartedly, without feeling any unease or tinge of feeling of being cheated .
guess i'm being dependent .
but i just cant let my "trust" be one that never see the light in its entire living years .
i dont understand why .
why some people just like to say things that opposes their true feelings .
in other words ...
THEY ARE LYING !!
and i personally hates liars .
sometimes, there's just this weird little gesture or words that came out from their mouth that just simply irritates me .
very very irritated .
something that you have it but they do not ...
they said they want it. but one day when you told them they actually already have that thing in possession, they do not want to believe it .
in fact, they chose not to believe that they actually have it .
and its all because they are lying from the beginning .
i dont really know how to put this .
but i guess if you've gone through what i'm going through now, you will understand it better .
people around you are hiding behind a mask .
they do all sorts of things to please you. to coordinate with you.
and thats freakingly insincere .

there are billions and perhaps infinity types of human in this world .
some do weird things that you can never imagine .
weird things tat dont even ever crossed your mind .
weird things that makes one shocked and amazed at how they can possibly think and say something like that .
sincerity and pure innocent minds are close to extinction .
perhaps soon, they'll never appear on Earth again.
and that will be a really pathetic outcome for MAN ...
Labels: the cleverest creature of all times. Man.

Believe in FOREVER and it will be FOREVER .

Stay Forever
4:42 AM